It’s been a few years since I cared about anything Woody Allen’s done, but Whatever Works teams him with Larry David, Evan Rachel Wood, and, after five years away, New York.  Here’s to hoping he’s finally dropped the European arthouse pretensions (and along with it, dialog like “let’s not have another turgid discussion about categorical imperatives”).  Then again, Larry David working with Woody Allen has the potential to create a fireball of Jewish neurosis so big that it could consume the entire Earth.  Squeeze Gilbert Gottfried onto the production staff somehow and the movie’d just be two hours of a guy walking in circles pondering his own mortality.

(I added some Evan Rachel Wood pictures for… uh… scale.)

(Haven’t you heard?  It’s super lazy Photoshop Friday.)

Opening this weekend:

Year One
Jack Black and Michael Cera are cavemen, David Cross is Cain.  Seeing some bad reviews for this, and sure, I could’ve done without Harold Ramis planting the camera an inch from everyone’s face, and the endings of a couple scenes apparently never made it to the final cut… But whatever, it had its moments.  “You know what the best part of Sodom is?  The sodomy.”

The Proposal
Director Anne Fletcher’s long awaited follow up to 27 Dresses.  Two attractive people forced together by circumstance?  I wonder what will happen! She has to pretend to be attracted to Ryan Reynolds?  Ew, his chiseled features and washboard abs are so icky!  These romantic comedies are so unpredictable.  Betty White’s in it too.  Get it?  It’s funny because she’s old.

Whatever Works
Woody Allen directs Larry David.  I wonder if it’s about being neurotic and Jewish.

Two years ago, the Farrelly Brothers’ Three Stooges was set to star Sean Penn, Benicio Del Toro, and Jim Carrey, a strange but undeniably A-list cast.  Then Sean Penn decided he was taking a career hiatus, moved to Haiti, and started banging Scarlett Johansson, which is probably awesome for him, but the Three Stooges cast fell apart.  The film is finally set to start shooting this month, with Will Sasso from Mad TV/Sh*t My Dad Says as Curly, Sean Hayes from Will and Grace as Larry, and Chris Diamantopoulos as Mo (that’s the first time I’ve ever typed that guy’s name — how’d I do?).  Luckily, they’ve also signed Larry David in a supporting role, because otherwise this sounds like a TV movie:

They’re closing in on a deal with Larry David to play Mother Mengele, the unfortunate nun who runs the orphanage where the Stooges grow up and learn to create mayhem. The Seinfeld co-creator will join Jane Lynch, who plays Mother Superior. [Deadline]

Knowing Larry David, who I’ve never seen play anyone but himself, I’m guessing that other than dressing him up like a woman he’ll be playing the character Norm MacDonald-style, that I’m-not-going-to-insult-you-by-pretending-I’m-even-trying method of acting (which works for them).  It will also be interesting to see the Stooges move away from broad slapstick gags and more towards long conversations about the etiquette of double-dipping and whether they respect wood.

Here’s a hot new trend out of Japan, injecting liquid under your skin to give yourself a lumpy, bagel forehead. I’d blame this on the Japanese, but body-mod people are nuts everywhere. |Vice|

MORNING LINKS

Pop Culture Troll Quotes > Pop Culture Actual Quotes [Uproxx]

I’m playing this Draftstreet game for WithLeather, you should too. |WithLeather|

A new frotcast will be up tomorrow. In the meantime, check out last week’s, on “Fartlore.” |Frotcast|

This Week In F-ck I Love You: Dairy Queen [KSK]

The handsome dude in the picture? Larry David. Believe it. |BostonStool|

The Ten Worst Answers for ‘Best Show on Television’ [WarmingGlow]

A Tribute To Sarah Palin’s Aborted Historic Bus Tour Of America [Uproxx]

Nathan Fillion photobombs. |GammaSquad|

My new pick for “funniest motorcycle crash.” |Videogum|

Amish guy busted for sexting a 12-year-old. |HolyTaco|

Footage of the Toulambi tribe of New Guinea encountering white man for the first time in 1976. “If it was a brother, it woulda gone something like this” jokes quickly followed. |TheDailyWhat|

These guys built a double-wedgie, double nut-shot machine.  Great work, guys. |GorillaMask|

Lindsay flips out on Matt Lauer, demanding $100K. Can we sentence her to do porn already? |TheSuperficial|

Bill O’Reilly & Lupe Fiasco Talk President Obama, The Terrorist [TSS]

The Harsh Reality of L.A. Noire [ToplessRobot]

FAN US ON FACEBOOK (pleeeease?). SUBSCRIBE TO THE FROTCAST. NOMINATE COMMENTS OF THE WEEK.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Larry David plays a put-upon schlub whose commitment to honesty and lack of social grace constantly get him into embarrassing situations, and find him breaking down the definitions of basic figures of speech. Yep, Clear History basically looks like a Curb Your Enthusiasm movie, and I’m more than okay with that. It comes from Adventureland/Superbad director Greg Mottola (I’m still pretending Paul didn’t happen), and Larry David’s foils this time around include Jon Hamm, Bill Hader, Danny McBride, Kate Hudson, and Michael Keaton (!!!). AND it hits HBO August 10th, so you won’t even have to drag your ass down to a theater full of mouth breathers to see it, you’ll be able to watch it from the comfort of your filthy couch, with the mouth breathers you live with, if you can get them to shut up for five seconds. This may be a gross, quasi-racist generalization, but I see Larry David as the Jewish man’s id.

“This is not tat, there was no tit!” is the Seinfeldiest line ever. Like, that’s the kind of line you’d write for a Seinfeld or Curb parody cutaway in Family Guy. And yet… it still works.

On Saturday night, HBO will air the new original film Clear History, starring Larry David, Bill Hader, Jon Hamm, Kate Hudson, Michael Keaton, Philip Baker Hall, Eva Mendes, JB Smoove and Danny McBride, and I assume that all of us comedy nerds are going to laugh ourselves into dorky slumber. At least, that’s the safe assumption, as it’s very difficult to imagine a film with that kind of cast and written by David, Jeff Schaffer, David Mandel and Alec Berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg to be anything but hilarious.

Fortunately, HBO has released three new clips to give us a little taste of the HAHAs before Saturday, and I guess these will have to do. If it helps, try knocking yourselves unconscious so that you’ll wake up with amnesia and then watch them all over again like you’ve never seen them before. Sure, you’ll have no idea who those other people in your home are, but you’re better off never dealing with your stupid wiener kids again anyway.

(H/T to Indiewire)

Via Twitter

The Los Angeles Kings trailed the New York Rangers early in last night’s Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals, but the West Coast ended up being the Best Coast after the Kings rallied to win 3-2 in overtime. Among the 18,399 screaming hockey fans in attendance was Curb Your Enthusiasm star and celebrity sports super fan Larry David, who has been no stranger behind the boards at Kings games this season. Also joining him yet again was Fox Sports Live host Charissa Thompson, who decided to cut Erin Andrews out of the action this time and keep David all to herself in another selfie.

But this couple’s (presumably platonic, but if it’s more serious, well done Mr. David) awesomeness wasn’t limited to one photo or even the several other wonderful reaction shots offered by Getty. Instead, Thompson captured David’s attempt at analysis for Instagram, and it’s safe to say that he’s already a phenomenally better sports shouter than Skip Bayless.

You’re a little what, Larry? YOU’RE A LITTLE WHAT??? But that just means we can call their show something like Sports Cliffhangers, and they’ll show everything that happens in the day’s biggest games, except without the results. You’d watch.

Also, I’m not sure what David is so shocked about in this picture…

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… but my guess is that it involved Matt Greene’s nasty gash on his face:

Via SB Nation

Otherwise, he might have just been horrified by the Kiss Cam:

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HBO

It’s been nearly three years since we had a new episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, and while the show hasn’t been officially cancelled, Larry David hasn’t done much more than speculate on the possibility of a 10th season. While the show is based on a fictionalized version of himself, one has to wonder just how much of it stems from Larry’s real-life encounters.

Today is Larry’s 67th birthday, and while we may or may not see another season of Curb, here are six real-life Larry David encounters that would make for good Curb storylines. Plus, one encounter that’s already become an episode of classic television.

1. The time Larry got trapped in a parking garage.

This incident from two years ago seems exactly like the type of predicament that Larry David would find himself in on Curb, only without the screaming and obscenities. The video was picked up by TMZ and shot inside a Santa Monica mall parking garage with Larry unable to figure out how to work the parking gate. Larry gets out of his punk-ass car — more on that next — and begins apologizing for the trouble and asking for help. The only thing missing is Susie Essman calling him “a stupid f*ck” from another car.

2. JB Smoove calls Larry out on his “punk-ass car.”

Larry David might play an exaggerated portrayal of himself on the show, but I feel fairly confident that JB Smoove is exactly the same in real-life as he is on the Curb. (Twenty bucks says that he probably has to tone it down for the show.) Which makes his story about running into Larry on the way to a movie premiere even more enjoyable. (Tip: for a more authentic experience, read the story in JB Smoove’s voice.) Via Fox Sports:

“A few years ago I was going to the Movie 43 premiere. I’m getting off the highway and I’m driving down Highland Blvd. in Hollywood. I know Larry’s car. The whole 4-5 blocks to the premiere I’m following a Prius that looks just like Larry’s punk-ass car. My wife and I started laughing. I’m saying stuff like, “Look at Larry David and his punk-ass car.” I used to call it a roller coaster car. I always laugh at his car. He’s one of those guys who’s all concerned about the environment. Not me. I drive a big Dodge truck. I drive American cars. So we turn into the parking garage near where the movie premiere is, I get out of the car, help my wife out, and start walking to the building where the movie’s being shown. I see it’s Larry getting out of the car and I go, “HEEEEYYYYY!” He always says hey to me. I say, “Larry, I’ve been driving behind you the whole time, I knew it was your punk-ass car.” We walked the block-and-a-half to the movie and you would have thought people on the street were seeing Amos & Andy or Laurel & Hardy walking down the street.”

HBO

3. Richard Lewis once chased Larry David into a phone booth.

Richard Lewis has always been one of my favorite recurring characters on Curb — mainly because he seems like only person on the show possibly more neurotic than Larry. Both Larry and Richard have described their relationship off the show as being spot-on with the fictionalized version, despite having hated each other as kids at summer camp.

“I hated his guts,” Lewis said of his former nemesis. “He was a gangly, obnoxious jerk. I hated him. He hated me. We had fistfights, I beamed him.” Via NYDailyNews

Larry and Richard have had their issues on the show — giving a friend’s girlfriend a Benadryl-laced brownie can strain a friendship — and their real-life relationship has its Curb moments as well. Like the time the comedian invited Larry to a group therapy session, only to have the anxieties of 10 Jews send him running.

The comic admits to being in therapy for 40 years now, and says he’s even tried to persuade David to go with him. “He went in and out,” Lewis said. “He ran out once when I took him. Ran out. In group therapy. We caught him in a phone booth on First Ave. hiding from 10 neurotic Jews. And we’re saying, ‘You need us!’ And he’s saying, ‘I don’t need anybody!’ And he wouldn’t come out. And I don’t know if he ever went back.”

4. Ted Danson enjoys teasing Larry David about being a germaphobe.

Judging from Ted Danson’s 2010 appearance on The Late, Late Show, his real relationship with Larry David can be as conflicted as his fictional one. The actor joked that he was offended that Larry hadn’t invited him on for the 2011 season of the show despite using his Martha’s Vineyard guest house. (In the TV Star Code of Conduct, one three-day weekend of guest house privileges must be reciprocated with no less than two cameos.)

After Craig Ferguson attempted to defend Larry by comparing his scent to warm biscuits, Ted went on to describe a practical joke he enjoyed playing on Larry.

“He’s like a germaphobe. My favorite thing to do is if I’m at an event or something and I see him, I come out of the men’s room going like this [shaking both hands and leaning in for a hug]. And he will not shake hands with you for like a month if he’s seen you go to the bathroom.”

NBC

This Saturday, July 5th, is the 25th anniversary of the first episode of Seinfeld, “The Seinfeld Chronicles.” It, like every season one episode, isn’t very good, but it’s still an important moment in TV history, because it was the pilot for what would become one of the greatest sitcoms ever. TBS’ best-of marathon continues tonight with “The Merv Griffin Show,” and we’ll have more JERK STORE coverage over the next couple of days, but until then, let’s have a look at 25 of the most useful Seinfeld GIFs.

1. For when you make peaceful race relations.

2. For when you’re home but don’t want to be bothered by the outside world.

3. For when you’ve got the perfect comeback.

4. For when your hunger is making you go a little insane.

5. For when you know you shouldn’t do something…but you still do it.

6. For when you treat yo’ self after a long day at the office.

7. For when you think/know you’re smarter than someone.

8. For when you’ve got the hots for a pretty woman/handsome man who’s a total dumb-dumb.

9. For when you just can’t deal with other people.

10. For when you feel like doing something crazy.

NBC

Happy 25th (and three days) anniversary, Seinfeld. Although the milestone has passed, the tributes continue to pour in, including a Rolling Stone feature about “10 Actors on Their Memorable Seinfeld Roles.” The whole thing is worth a read (out-of-context quote from Bryan “Tim Whatley” Cranston: “I had a big crush on Julia Louis-Dreyfus…”), but the most interesting interview is with Teri Hatcher, who’s happily come to terms with the fact that she’ll always be the lady with the “spectacular” boobs.

Larry may remember this differently, but in terms of the now-famous line…when you were taping in front of a live audience, Larry would feed you lines. He’d say, “Okay, go through the door, turn this way, and say this.” I remember that being one of the lines he fed me when, after I’d said it, it just stuck. I don’t think it was the original script; I’m pretty sure he just came up with it on the spot. Larry David deserves all the credit for the joke working so wonderfully. Well, Larry and Mother Nature, I guess [laughs].

I was with my daughter up in Boston a few weeks ago, and we were at a restaurant. We had our meal and as we were leaving, the maitre’d told us to have a nice day “because the weather is real and spectacular!” I was like “It is a beautiful day, isn’t it, and…oh, right! I see what you did there!” [Laughs] I’ve been a Bond girl, I did Lois and Clark, I did Desperate Wives, but I swear to you, those five words will probably be what ends up on my tombstone. “Teri Hatcher: She Was a Great Mom, and They’re Real and They’re Spectacular!”

Better that than the poor woman who played “Two Face.” I think she was last seen portraying “Before” in a Before and After Meth Addiction PSA. (Also, my favorite thing about what Hatcher said is that she basically confirmed Larry David came up with the line while checking her out. Nice work if you can get it.)

Via Rolling Stone

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The good: Larry David will make his Broadway debut this winter in a play he wrote himself. Fish in the Dark is a comedy about a death (SHOCKING) in a family, with about 15 characters, including “somebody very similar to Larry David – it might even be Larry David with a different name.”

The bad: we’re gonna have to wait for another season of Curb Your Enthusiasm…

Mr. David said he hadn’t ruled out another season. “But I’m not going to mentally do that to myself right now,” he said of making a decision about the cable series. “But if I did do another season, this play would push that schedule back.” (Via)

The terrible: …and even longer until I can buy a ticket to “Larry David in The Producers!”

Via NY Times

NBC

It’s  difficult to go a day without relating my life to an episode of Seinfeld. Whether it’s encountering the hundreds of identifiable characters like the Uncle Leos of the world while living in New York, sitting next to a hockey fan with his face fully painted like David Puddy on the subway, or somehow finagling my way into awkward scenarios like playing Trivial Pursuit with bubble boy– it never ceases to stop. But that’s what happens when a show infiltrates the American psyche, while simultaneously providing a lexicon to describe the world around us, like Seinfeld has. Here we take a look at 20 Seinfeld-isms we use to describe our lives every day.

1. High Talker

Everyday use: “Every time Mark talks glass shatters. He’s a high talker.”

2. Unshushables

Everyday use: “No matter what I said to the kids they wouldn’t be quiet. They were the unshushables.”

3. Trifecta

Everyday use: “I will probably never achieve the trifecta.”

4. In the Vault

Everyday use: “Remember that time in Vegas? Yeah, that’s staying in the vault.”

5. The Bro/Manssiere

Everyday use: “Have you seen the men walking around here? Just about all of them could use the bro.”

6. Low Talker

Everyday use:  “It’s like everything she was telling me was a secret. She was a low talker.”

7. Festivus

Everyday use: “Are you going to that Festivus celebration in Williamsburg?”

8. Schmoopie

Everyday use:  You’ll hear this every time you’re third wheeling it for the night.

9. Mulva

Everyday use: Used anytime you can’t remember someone’s name you just met.

10. Moops

Everyday use: Used anytime your friend is being a know it all.

It’s pretty well known that when Larry David drops by a late night talk show the host just sets Larry up to essentially try out stand up bits, while seated, with little or no pressure to put too much effort into it. It’s all pretty much perfect Larry David, and the results are predictably hilarious. Last night though I doubt Jimmy expected Larry David to go full Amy Schumer with a joke about “coming” (there may be alternate spellings) to go along with his bit about new girlfriends in the clip above.

It’s pretty much the sorta funny/sorta inappropriate joke one of your dad’s more crass friends would tell, leaving you unsure how to react. Except it’s Larry David, on The Tonight Show, plugging his new Broadway gig. Good times.

And here’s part one of the interview with Larry David talking all about how dogs hate him, because of course they do. Something something this is the closest we may ever get to new Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Everyone around here is a pretty big fan of Seinfeld and we give plenty of coverage to it. For good reason too seeing how it’s arguably the greatest sitcom of all time and still hilarious 25 years after it premiered.

This clip from Cinefix compiled seven facts from the series that you might not know, unless you’re a super fan. I put myself somewhere in the middle and I didn’t know a few of the tidbits they put into the video, especially the bits about the real Soup Nazi and the dating history of Liz Sheridan aka Jerry’s mom Helen Seinfeld.

I might say that we’ve covered the “fun facts” with a bit more of a comprehensive flair, but I don’t think there’s ever a bad time to look at trivia for Seinfeld.

(Via Cinefix)

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There’s been a lot of talk about Saturday Night Live this week with the addition of Michael Che to “Weekend Update” (and the subtraction of Cecily Strong). Colin Jost, of course, was allowed to remain on the “Weekend Update” desk, mostly because he has been in the writers’ room forever, and he was groomed to take that job.

Speaking of the writers’ room, obviously a lot of talented actors and actresses come out of the SNL cast and go on to huge careers in movies and television. SNL is still the breeding grounds for a huge, huge amount of today’s comedy (and if you can’t see that, you aren’t opening your eyes). But a lot of today’s best talent came from SNL but were never in the cast itself. They were but mere writers. Three of the best examples of now famous people who began as writers (but not cast members) on SNL are probably Conan O’Brien, John Mulaney, and Will Ferrell’s acting/producer partner, Adam McKay (all three of which served as head writers at some point).

However, here’s ten you may not know began their careers in the SNL writers’ room.

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Bob Odenkirk — Odenkirk, most famous for Mr. Show and, of course, Breaking Bad (and it’s forthcoming spin-off, Better Call Saul), was a writer on SNL between 1987 and 1991, working mostly with Conan O’Brien and Robert Smigel.

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Larry David — David, obviously best known for co-creating Seinfeld and for Curb Your Enthusiasm, worked as a writer on SNL in the 1984-85 seasons, though he only managed to get one sketch on the air, a 10-to-1 skit. In fact, David quit at mid-season, only to return a few days later acting as though nothing had happened, which inspired an episode of Seinfeld, “The Revenge.”

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Mindy Kaling — Kaling, a writer and actress on The Office, and now the writer and star of her own show, wrote for exactly one episode of Saturday Night Live in 2006. She had been offered a full-time writing gig but couldn’t take it because of commitments to The Office, but they did let her guest write one episode.

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Hannibal Buress — Burress, who is now one of stand-ups fastest rising stars (and amazing in Comedy Central’s Broad City), spent one season (2009-2010) as a writer on Saturday Night Live before leaving, having had only one of his sketches make it to air.

Via NBC

John Lutz — John Lutz, best known for playing Lutz, a writer on a sketch comedy show in 30 Rock, began as a writer on a sketch show, Saturday Night Live, for seven seasons. He’s now a writer on Late Night with Seth Meyers.

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Back in August, Larry David revealed that when it comes to a ninth season of his beloved HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm, there are currently no plans or even ideas burning a hole in his brains. Even if the new season was happening, he said, it would be taking a back seat to his upcoming Broadway play, Fish in the Dark, which debuts in February. So when he hit the stage at The Theatre at the Ace Hotel in Los Angeles last night for In Conversation with David Steinberg, it was only a matter of time before the conversation would turn to Curb, or someone from the crowd would demand to know when the fictitious version of Larry David was coming back to TV.

According to Variety’s recap of In Conversation, the crowd was certainly a wild one, as some of the people in the audience made things downright awkward. But once Curb was finally mentioned, David once again delivered the bad news.

“After eight seasons on ‘Curb,’ I’m just not sure my ideas are gonna be good enough for a whole season.” When a heckler called out, “Yes, they will!” David replied, “I’ve been heckled a lot, but that was the nicest one.”

David also made sure to remind attending fans that the “Larry David” on “Curb” is not the same Larry David in real life.

“In a way I wish I was that character because he’s so honest,” said David, citing “Palestinian Chicken,” “Ski Lift” and “The Doll” among his top favorite episodes. “As Larry David on ‘Curb’ I get to say everything I want to say which I can’t in real life. It’s freeing. This was a great vehicle for me to have all of these thoughts that go unexpressed.” (Via Variety)

But it’s not all bad news (obviously, if you read the title of this post), because David has not shut the door to the possibility of one more season.

“I feel bad that I don’t have shows for them,” he told Steinberg of obsessed series fans, “and I haven’t given up the hope.”

Damn it, man. Whatever it takes you to come up with ideas, Larry David, you do it. You hear me? YOU DO IT.

HBO

In the same Vanity Fair interview that revealed Jennifer Lawrence’s terrible taste in television (or great taste depending on your point of view), she also revealed her crush on Larry David:

“Do you like Curb Your Enthusiasm?” she asked Kashner during their interview. “Do you like Larry David? I’m in love with him, and I have been for a really long time.”

Taking her declaration of love up a notch, she adds, “I worship Woody Allen, but I don’t feel it below the belt the way I do for Larry David.”

First off, don’t tell Woody Allen. Second, you don’t have to worry about telling Larry David because he heard about it and has responded. David was at the New Yorker Festival to chat with editor David Remnick and Lawrence came up, leading to this response. From The Wrap:

When asked about “The Hunger Games” actress’ crush on him, David responded, “Smart kid. It’s a shame that I’m about 40 years older than she is.”

Remnick then read the rest of Lawrence’s declaration of love: “I worship Woody Allen, but I don’t feel it below the belt the way I do for Larry David.”

The comedian retorted, “Maybe she’s referring to her knees. I don’t think I could do it. On one hand it’s very flattering and on another hand, it’s kind of a shame — in terms of timing. I’d have fun watching the reality show of it though.”

And with that, the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm was born. Complete with a time travel element and romantic plotline. I can’t wait to see Larry David in costume as a young Larry David. It’s going to be great.

ABC

(Via Vanity Fair / The Wrap)

NBC

Although Larry David never had a regular, credited acting role on Seinfeld (unless you consider George Costanza to simply be a Larry David proxy) he did pop up semi-regularly. In some cases he was visible, like as Frank Costanza’s caped lawyer, and other times off-camera, such as when he voiced the distraught beach-goer who asked if anyone was a marine biologist.

Here I present to you, a look at twenty of Larry David’s most notable on- and off-screen Seinfeld cameos.

As a Greenpeace volunteer — Episode: “The Pilot”

As Frank Costanza’s Caped Lawyer — Episode: “The Chinese Woman”

… who later saves Elaine’s friend’s life.

NBC

As Yankees Owner George Steinbrenner — Episodes: Various

As a distraught beachgoer — Episode: “The Marine Biologist”

As a dispatch for a limo service — Episode: “The Lip Reader”

NBC

As the man who ordered a kosher meal on an airplane — Episode: “The Airport”

As the voice of Saddam Hussein — Episode: “The Dinner Party”

As the voice of Newman when he’s going to jump from the building — Episode: “The Revenge”

NBC

As a street vendor declining George’s $20 bill — Episode : “The Gum”

As the voice of a referee — Episode: “The Parking Space”

NBC

HBO

Chunnel truther Larry David joined Bill Simmons on the B.S. Report to discuss his new Broadway play, Fish in the Dark, and also some television programs you might be familiar with, Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm. One’s definitely finished, the other’s possibly done, though incidentally, if there isn’t going to be another season of Curb, it’s partially because of Seinfeld.

David: I guess the odds would be against [another season of Curb]. I guess, right now, the odds would be against it, probably 6 to 1.

Simmons: Couldn’t it maybe end with one last 90-minute — actually, it wasn’t even 90 minutes — an 80-minute mockumentary that wraps it up? That’s a possibility.

David: Well, you know, I got so much grief from the Seinfeld finale, which a lot of people intensely disliked, that I no longer feel a need to wrap things up.

Simmons: That’s interesting. So you’re still mad about that?

David: I wouldn’t say I’m mad about it, but it taught me a lesson that if I ever did another show, I wasn’t going to wrap it up. (Via)

Later on:

Simmons: What did you think was the most unfair criticism of the Seinfeld finale?

David: I don’t know, because I don’t remember anything specifically.

Simmons: But you were mad about it.

David: I know that people hated it.

Simmons: I don’t think people hated it.

David: They were disappointed. A lot of people were disappointed. (Via)

There’s no reason David should feel pressure into writing more Curb — he’s got enough money to buy seven lifetime’s worth of Palestinian chicken, and the last two seasons were arguably the show’s finest. Which is exactly why it’s so frustrating that Curb might be finished.

It’s pretty, pretty, pretty good.

Via Grantland

NBC

Any time Larry David does something notable, we will cover it. Partially because he’s the best, but mostly because the world needs the screencap of him wearing a cape now more than ever. Anyway, the Curb Your Enthusiasm creator — and yes, it’s still on hiatus — was on The Howard Stern Show today, and he discussed topics he’s covered many times before: being in the Army Reserve, threatening to quit Seinfeld if NBC didn’t air “The Contest,” etc.

You can listen to the whole thing below, but the best material’s at the end, where Stern asks David if he’s had sex with a Palestinian woman (he hasn’t), his masturbation habits, and whether the rumors of his $800 million-plus net worth are true.

Howard said Larry and Jerry have made a fortune. Howard said he knows he doesn’t like to talk about money. Larry said that the reports are so insane. He said that it’s nothing like what they say. He said he won’t say exact numbers but it’s so untrue. Larry said when he was married half of it went in the divorce. Howard asked if it killed him to give that money away. Larry said no. Howard said he beat the odds though. He said he did all of that hard work to make that money. Larry…said the money didn’t matter. He said that he’s okay with what she has because that money will go to their kids either way. (Via)

Those kids are pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty financially sound. Just keep dolls away from their dad.