HBO
No episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm would be complete if Larry didn’t flip out at some minor injustice in his cushy life. The idea that somebody as comfortable and privileged as a “rich prick” like Larry David can still boil over with anger at the most trivial of things is what carried Curb through its eight seasons.
We’ve looked at Larry’s battles with Susie Green (even on the campaign trail) and his most outrageous, yet hilarious moments, but what about his all-out yelling matches? No one is better at losing his cool and yelling like a wild man than Larry David, and no one is more of a hero to everyone who stifles their own want to let their words flow freely and loudly at a stupid situation or a stupid person. So, to celebrate all that hilarious (and inspirational) anger, here are some of the many times Larry David unleashed his fury on Curb Your Enthusiasm (which you can stream on HBO Now).
Yamaka alert.
HBO
The penis may not care about race, creed or color, but Marty Funkhouser (Bob Einstein) sure does and takes issue with Larry sleeping with a woman who takes liberty in bashing Judaism during sex. Larry doesn’t exactly keep things kosher, though, and flips out when Marty tells him he can’t play in a golf tournament because it falls on the Sabbath. The whole scene boils over when Marty drops his Yamaka and Larry proceeds to mock him. The whole thing kinda makes you wonder why they’re even friends to begin with.
Nobody likes a tattle-tale.
HBO
Tattle-taling is a cardinal sin in Larry David’s book, and he’s not about to let some punk like Vance rat him out to Susie (Susie Essman). After he and Jeff pigged out on the Pinkberry that was meant for Susie’s dying dog, Vance threatens to rat on Larry to Susie. As Larry puts it, “nobody likes tattle-tales” and condemns Vance to an eternity in hell if he tattles — which of course he does.
Related: How Much Is Larry David Like His Character on ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’?
Larry’s beautiful colon.
HBO
One of the things that makes Curb so great is how angry Larry gets about the smallest of issues. After he hires Richard’s girlfriend as a receptionist, he immediately regrets the decision when she attempts to make small talk with him after each of his many bathroom visits. It all finally boils over when he mentions it to Richard who calls him out on his bowel and bladder issues. Nobody calls out Larry David. The take away line: “What are you eating, a lot of grains and nuts? You’re like a Jew squirrel.”
Larry calls out Parkinson’s.
HBO
After Larry’s shirt is ruined by the exploding can of soda given to him by Michael J. Fox, he becomes suspicious that Fox is using Parkinson’s as a cover for his malicious behavior. Of course, Larry is unable to prove this, but revels in an opportunity to take his frustration out on Fox’s doorman.
Big Dog’s days are over.
HBO
“You never give up a cabinet. Never give up a cabinet.” If only Larry had Jeff’s wisdom, he could have avoided a confrontation with Dino, also known as Big Dog (Harry Hamlin). Normally, Larry is completely in the wrong, but in this season eight episode, he’s actually got a point when Dog pisses all over Larry’s office territory by taking two cabinets. Screw Dog’s pudding and chocolate pretzels, once he pushed Larry into one cabinet, it was total warfare with Larry unleashing one of the show’s best rants on Big Dog.
Larry ruins the tooth fairy.
HBO
We covered this confrontation with Susie back in our look at Larry vs. Susie, but it’s too great not to include here, as well. It’s well-known that nobody pisses off Susie more than Larry, and when he ruins the tooth fairy for her daughter with his squeaky shoes, she rattles off a string of profanity that would make anyone blush. Not one to stand by and take it, Larry seizes the opportunity to give Susie a reality check and remind her that “there is no f*cking tooth fairy!”
Larry tells Sammi to “shut the f*ck up.”
HBO
I almost feel bad for Larry in this scenario, simply because of the wrath he brings upon himself for yelling at Susie’s daughter. Over the course of the series, Larry slowly chips away at Sammi’s childhood, this time telling her to “shut the f*ck up” after her singing wakes him up. He, of course, regrets this decision within seconds when Susie barges in the bedroom like a mamma grizzly bear, demanding he get out of her house.
Larry refuses to take the blame.
HBO
“Give her an ultimatum! What the f*ck was that?! I was this close! This close! She’s gone!” — Larry.
After Larry gives Cheryl an ultimatum on the advice of his marriage counselor (Steve Coogan), it backfires. Rather than attempt to fix things with Cheryl on his own, he demands his counselor come with him to take not “90% of the blame, but 100% of the lion’s share.” This doesn’t exactly go smoothly, either, with the counselor claiming responsibility for the “new Larry.” As much as Larry is often wrong and overreacts, you can’t say that the guy is ever a pushover.
Larry demands half the candy.
HBO
Larry David isn’t the kind of person who’s amused by magic tricks, and he’s certainly not about to pretend to be entertained by one from a “phony” kid magician. Yes, Larry isn’t screaming here, but that’s only because he doesn’t want another adult to hear the verbal threat of “I want half that candy” going down.
A battle of silent “f*ck yous.”
HBO
Larry’s so brilliant at screaming that he can pantomime a screaming match and still come out on top. He got off on the wrong foot with Richard Lewis’ girlfriend and her “special breasts” at the movie theater and things never really recovered. The two enemies then engaged in a silent battle of “f*ck yous!” with Richard oblivious to the fight going on behind him. Truly something only a master prick, like Larry, could pull off.