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Larry David is a lot of things. Comedy great, co-creator of Seinfeld, creator and star of Curb Your Enthusiasm, (available to stream anytime on HBO Now). While he’s the master of the uncomfortable comedy moment, he’s also known for one notorious trait: he is a talker. Sometimes (most times) it does far more harm for him than good, but every so often, he’s able to use his ability to dig his way out of a hole, instead of burying himself deeper like he usually does. Should you find yourself needing to talk your way out of a bad situation, look no further than Larry David’s choice bits of wisdom.
“‘By sundown?’ What are you… what are you, Gary Cooper? ‘By sundown?’ What’s gonna happen?”
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This is one of the most awkward instances you can find yourself in. Your best friend meets someone that they care about, and it turns out you two have already met, and you hate each other. Richard (Richard Lewis), the best friend in the situation here, does what he can to extend an olive branch between Larry and his new girlfriend. Larry, being Larry, is resistant to the idea of having to apologize. Still, Larry doesn’t want to totally blow Richard off, so instead he throws a little levity into the situation. Richard even admits that it’s fun, despite not wanting to laugh, proving that sometimes the best way to try and spackle over a slightly damaged friendship is with a little bit of good-natured humor.
“I guess I had a different plan for eternity. I thought… I thought I’d be single again.”
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Not everyone dwells on the specifics of a phrase like ‘Til death do us part,’ but not everyone is Larry David. When it comes time for Larry and his wife, Cheryl (Cheryl Hines), to renew their vows to one another, her poetic musing of loving David well into eternity conflicts with his idea of how he’ll be spending the afterlife. On the surface, this may seem like one of those classic Larry David moments where he takes a bad situation and just keeps making it worse, but honestly, isn’t it better to get this all out in the open now, rather than in eternity? You never want an argument to linger.
“With all due respect, Officer Berg, you are not bald. You have chosen to shave your hair and that’s a look you’re cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don’t really consider you part of the bald community… with all due respect.”
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What’s key here is the first and last words Larry uses. He knows he’s dealing with a sensitive topic, asking for the spray-painted words “bald assh*le” on his door to be considered a hate crime. But Larry, in a move that is almost completely contrary to his usual grating persona, approaches things cautiously, and with a respectful demeanor in an effort to not piss off a cop. And while doing so, he’s even able to address the differences between being a bald man and being someone who shaves their head. It’s just top-notch diplomacy all the way around and a useful trait for anyone in a tough situation.
“The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don’t like to have hot food for lunch.”
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No matter what your preferences are regarding lunch, no one wants it to be a bad time. Larry, being very particular about pretty much everything he eats (and does), is at least open and honest about these preferences. If you’ve got an issue with something, don’t hesitate to make it known. This way you’re not just talking your way out of a bad situation, but you’re avoiding one altogether.
“There might be an upside to this whole experience…”
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There are your everyday bad situations, and then there are your ‘forget your lines in a broadway show on opening night’ situations. Regardless, Larry doesn’t seem bothered in the least, and starts a stream-of-conscious commentary on his uneven shaving technique, then decides to turn the whole thing into an impromptu standup set. It’s one of Larry’s finest moments as he not only keeps the audience from walking out but ends up saving the opening night performance and the play on a whole, much to Mel Brooks’ crushing disappointment.
“Pity points. That’s fabulous, I love pity points. But how can I get to a seven? I know a six is out of the question, but is there any way I can get to a seven?”
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Once Larry ends up in the doghouse with Cheryl after their dinner with Gil (Bob Odenkirk), the former porn star, he asks her bluntly for the numerical ranking of exactly how angry she is. She gives him an 8.7, admitting that it was taken down from a nine due to him being screamed at, hence the aforementioned pity points. Larry, a realist through and through, isn’t shy about asking the chances of him getting the ranking down a bit further.
Proving that sometimes the best way to try and talk yourself out of a situation is simply to just ask. It might not work in getting you out of a bad scene, but at least you know that you tried.
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