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In case you hadn’t heard the news, HBO announced yesterday that Curb Your Enthusiasm (which you can stream on HBO Now) will be coming back for a much-anticipated ninth season at some point in the future. It’s been five long years since the show’s eighth season signed off, and even though it’ll be a little while before we’re actually watching a new episode of Curb, we’re going to go ahead and start the celebration now. And what better way to do that than with a remembrance of some of Larry David’s most winning moments and a careful consideration of how the study of Larry can help you in your efforts to be constantly right and win every argument.
1. Stick To Your Convictions.
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When Larry’s called out by Julia Louis-Dreyfus, (playing her fictionalized self), over a stain that’s left on her end table, Larry is quick to defend himself by noting that his carefully constructed social routine clears him of any wrong doing; and really his story is pretty sound. Not only does he respect wood — something he’s quick to point out to everyone — but he’s clearly the type of guy who’s not into shaking hands, which is why he keeps a glass in hand. Although he doesn’t quite convince Julia that he wasn’t responsible for staining her antique table, that doesn’t mean he’s not bound and determined to clear his name. Remember, winning is about determination — even when it looks like the odds seem like they’re against you.
2. Don’t Be Afraid To Call Out Bad Behavior
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It’s an awkward moment that’s been around since cell phones started becoming commonplace, and it only got worse once bluetooth devices became the accessory of choice for business bros. Thankfully, Larry doesn’t react to commonplace situations in the most expected way, and when he ends up sitting next to one of these guys, he responds masterfully by starting an equally high-volume conversation with absolutely no one. Should you find yourself in Larry’s situation here — and there’s almost 100% that you will — don’t hesitate to start a conversation with an imaginary friend. After all, why should those with a bluetooth in their ear have all the fun?
3. Have A Clear Sense Of Right And Wrong
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After Larry accidentally stumbles across the owner of the dog who’s been repeatedly soiling his lawn, he makes a surprisingly reasonable argument: the dog’s owner should’ve brought a bag with her to clean up after her dog. In Larry’s mind, the dog and the bag are inseparable, and should be considered a package deal. Of course, it’s not just Larry speaking about his lawn here, he’s speaking for everyone — dog-owners and non-dog-owners alike.
4. The Golden Rule
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When Larry tries to bring a bottle of water into a theater, he’s stopped by another patron he mistakes for a theater employee. When he notices that she’s not an employee of the theater, but simply someone attending the show, Larry fights back, accusing her of violating the golden rule. The question of who was “right” here could be debated for hours on end, but you can’t deny that Larry has a point. Do unto others, my friends.
5. Have A Great Closing Line
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“You’re right about the bread, Simmington. It is hard.”
When Larry is presented with the opportunity to not only save two acquaintances — Donna (Samantha Mathis) and Ricky Gervais (as himself) — from being mugged on the subway, he does so in heroic fashion by beating the mugger with a hardened baguette. It’s a great moment for the character and one that gives him the ultimate closing line against Gervais, who had shown him up earlier in the episode. If you want to win an argument, always have a great walkaway line.
6. And An Even Better Catchphrase
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If Larry David had a rallying cry, “Pretty good. Pret-ty pret-ty pret-ty good.” would be it. And if you asked any of the show’s fans how they felt about yesterday’s news, almost all of them would give this as the answer. Keep something like this in your pocket for the argument afterparty when you are celebrating your successes.